hot wax on a cool night

Current Mood: bouncy

August 26th The Big Tasty will be coming to Rich's (resident landed), and every Friday to follow..... it is so on!! Friday night at afterhours the whole Rich's crew showed up... I had a surreal moment... seeing fucking Mark D hanging out was awseome... I realized he's just a normal guy... actually a hot ass metro... and he was just looking to hang out and have a good time... we got to talk about music, the scene, radio, art, records... it was pretty nice just shooting the shit and having a cocktail. Fenominal man!
Today I had dinner with Riley... it was nice catching up on old times and beeing able to be friends again is a relief from all the heartache... it reminded me of how we used to be.... then it was about smokin pot and playin records. I guess everything else just scewed things, but it would be nice to get back to that.
I am so horrible at relationships sometimes.... I feel like they exist seperate from my control in a glass case I don't have the key for! I'm driven by sex primarily... which at least I can admitt to, although secretley I seek love... which is such a golden ticket, and do I look like a Charlie!?

Current Mood: amused

I have always had one of those crazy lives where really bad shit happens, followed by really good shit..... So bring on the good stuff baby.
This last week a series of weird coincidences have occurred (which isn't out of the ordinary for me) that are just bizarre.
The ass painting already sold.... weird story... my friend Travis was outside Dean's talking to this couple from Germany on Tuesday Night when I noticed the guy had an Ibizza shirt on... I commented about how that's where I want to end up spinning one day... yada yada yada... to make a long story short, he buys my ass for $150.... to get even more weird, he has Joey sign it to his girlfriend... who's name is Nicole.... fucking bizarre. I took it as a sign... like "keep truckin"!! Immediately after that my phone rings and the promoter for Rich's tells me I'm in..... my life flashes before my eyes!

I have to get ready for my meeting with the owner of Rich's.... I'm fucking freaking out,... everything is falling into place.. Rich's has been my dream since I was a kid.... when I heard the news about bagging resident DJ, I started balling like a little kid.... my friends thought I was crazy. I guess some people just don't feel with the same intensity I do, especially regarding music!!
I have my fingers crossed... thank you DJ Mark D for all your support... you are a bad ass.... and thank you Micheal DeGrace for making me want to spin 5 years ago....
I just hope I don't make an ass of myself.... tell all when I know all....

Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: Deep Dish (George is On)

Life really does go on..... it bitch slaps you in the face and then sticks its hand down your pants for a reach around!! HAHA. All I can do about the warehouse is try my best... I have good friends/family on my side... but a sugar daddy sure would be nice.. hehe... naghhh, I got enough sweetness already! There are big things coming for my music, I can feel it... it makes me ansy.. these thoughts occupy my incessantly. I got hang out with the Rich's big wigs... Dj Mark D even let me throw down a record... I almost spooged on myself... it was my first time using a rain mixer and definitely my 1st time playing on Rich's main floor!! It fucking rocked!!! I think I may want to be a circuit DJ.... who knows.
So apparently there's a nude painting of me to be unveiled at Joey's show on Thursday.... he won't show me yet, but I think its my ass... I wonder if it sells? Well, I have to run... meeting time... Big Tasty 101!!!!

Current Mood: content
Current Music: rain on the roof

My life sucks...... I'll soon become a crack whore giving blow jobs for hotel money and smack so I can drown out the unrealized dream I once had of being a rockstar. I don't know what to do..... awww, fuck it all!! I swear life is a neverending lesson of just how cruel people can be to one another. Trust is a word I can no longer hold in my vocabulary......
Enough already!!!!
Tonite I go for Rich's .... may the DJ gods look down on me!!!

Current Mood: nauseated

Off and on... off and on.... this emotional rollercoaster is making me nauseous. Out comes the dramamine and my 9!! haha I think looking back on love can't get you forward but sometimes we are selfish to our own needs... So, my new efforts are to work on myself first, and maybe the rest will follow. The music scene is ravenous...but I think I am accelerating.. I have found a new lover...ART.. I guess I'm poly..my husband is music and my wife is art. Let's make babies.. hehehe.
Our AC at the warehouse has been out from Thursday till Monday... it was a hot house so I stayed away as much as I could... slept at Joey's mostly...2 things I can't live without climate control and my cell phone... which I lost the charger for so I've been on the fritze the last day or so...I've been spazzing.
So, I actually miss David.. I never thought I would say that... So I have devised a "10 things I miss about David list"!!
1. His annoying ass alarm clock going off and on for an hour in the morning.
2. Interrupting him during his business conferences.
3. Having someone to bitch at..
4. Not being scared at night.
5. Random life advice.
6. Our TiVo time.
7. His cooking.
8. His help at After hours.
9. Who's gonna take out the trash?
10. (drum roll please).... his random ball scratching!
Like a fungus he has grown on ye!
Enough... I think I'll be sick...
I said I wasn't going to go out tonite, but if Ashley calls I may have to tag along.
Here are a few pics I worked on earlier...

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Zombie by the Cranberries

So, tonite I went out with my gay boys and ,my English friend Cloie.... we had a blast... starting at Rip Cord, and ending up at an afterhours club called Eve, we danced to house music like drunken fools till about 3 am...... I miss Riley.... I haven't a clue what to do.... I just called him, like a drunken idiot... thank god he didn't answer....what the hell would I say...(as though I could form a sentence..)?? I know what I should do, however I also know what I want to do.... so I'm going over there,,,, I'lll track my digression tommorrow...

Current Mood: crazy

Current Mood: creative

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: chooo choo train

So I am back at the warehouse for a while.... I had been staying with my bf for quite a while and haven't slept in my bed for months. Things have been getting kinda "rough" between us for a while, and lets just say it has to get worst before it ends,,, hehe. I have to laugh at it, for the alternative is to cry uncontrollably. I feel pretty alone right now, thank god I have a roommate.. I would say roomate(s), however the "blond with child" has picked up and left like a fart in the wind!! ::::ATTENTION ALL LJ READERS: WE NEED A RELIABLE ROOMMATE:::::
You know, I always thought of myself as a good girlfriend, but after being told you are horrible, you begin to believe it... I think I have to rebuild my self esteem before rejoining the dating world.
Rather I like to admit it or not, it took me a while to get over my last relationship, and I have a feeling it will take a bit longer to get over this... we were very serious.... I have never used the word forever with someone, and thought I meant it. What the fuck do I know I am only 23.... the only things I'm good with are records, not people. Telling someone you love them several times a day, and then not having them around takes something from you, and I'm not sure how to get it back... I don't think I ever will. I really just want to be like I was,,, independent.... it's totally in my nature, but apparently so was the "little housewife", so I have to find a balance in the future.
As bad as it hurts now, I wouldn't take back any of it... I think I learned a lot... most importantly, baggage from past realtionships can destroy present ones, cheating (in any form) destroys trust, which is the basis of respect, and love is splendid despite pain.
Well, I have to plan my set... I have a HUGE DNB show coming up.... Marcus Intalex is headlining a free show at Clarks and Deans next Thursday, it's my Drum and Bass debut,... and I'm a bit nervous!!

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Davids damn alarm clock

so last night was the impromptu, yet planned birthday party at Industry Cafe...I will be 23 in two weeks......blahhh.... 21 was such a riot. All in all, it was a good time.... it was a nice turnout of friends from all over....kinda surprising considering I really didn't do much but mention it to a few people. There was no "timeslots", just throwing down,.....everyone playing each others bags... champagne flowed...as I'm sure did vomit from a few at the nights "cap"... afterhours was a good turnout... and sleep was needed!!
I realized last night that I have a good life and need to appreciate it more.... the rest should follow. My heart does ache....and I really don't know what to do with all that... just let it ride

Current Mood: high
Current Music: NIN

my head seems to always be spinning... I feel my grip on reality slipping, but sporadically. The other day at work I felt like I was fucked up on a drug I coudn't quite put my finger on... it was weird... I hadn't done anything, including smoke pot... perhaps the chemicals in my head release like the bowels of hell! It's so hard to say goodbye to Industry Cafe.... it was my first... literally that club popped my DJ cherry. ahhh, memories. So to move the nite, I have a plethora of choices... Dean's on Tuesday... either continue open tables there , with the amalgamation of art and music.... or do something completely different with the night. I would still like to do open tables. I'm just unsure as to the venue...ect, ect. If I had a regular on Friday at a decent club, I wouldn't have to even hassle with Tuesday... although I like to keep a loaded plate.. I'm really concerned about my life.... I don't know if my being fucked in the head is going to keep me from a healthy relationship, or if I'm dammed. I do know that love feels wonderful to give and receive, but the threat of taking it away is unbearable for me. My physical and psychological health are so connected it literally makes me sick.. I 've been getting fucking stress hives which suck ass. Sometimes I want to burn my face off it itches so bad.... and the more I spaz, the more I hive... I am truly trying, because I don't want to be the cause of my own demise.... it's hard to stay positive when you itch so bad... hahaha time to get ready for tonight... I'm super stoked about Dead P.A. the live DnB P.A> they fuckin rock it!@!!!!



Dancing is vertical expressions of horizontal desires!

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: da train

so things have been pretty busy lately..... sito's is still hellish, but luckily I haven't gotten fired YET... Tuesdays at Industry have slopped off, however Thursday's at Dean's are BITCHEN!!! My Saturday job at Clarks is never short of entertainment..... from bottles of Moet bustin over wave caps, to vomitting bitches... to drunken riots on Main... last Thursday as I was leaving Deans (turntable in hand) I walked past the M Bar crowd, who could all go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned, and as I was walking to the lot on Prarie I heard gunshots followed by screaming.... I took my ass home! Now I'm from the East side, where we're no stranger to crime, but these fools are bringing the ghetto to Main,. If I had my way I would torch that club and horse it rode in on.... Afterhours at the warehouse is off and running.. I think our Fridays may turn out...we're promoting to the Clarks/Opus crowd.
Aside from all the hustle and bustle, things are going decent... next month me and David are making a road trip to Mississippi... he's actually going to Memphis... and me to Drew to see my good friend Kasey and her gang. After that I fly out to Amarillo for my gig!!! It will be my 1st gig to fly out... wish it was a more International venue, but I have to start somewhere.
All the while, I am still in love... it's quite a thing of beauty might I add... I've found I can't sleep alone now, which is very scary.. but sweet.
Best news ever... been tallying some #'s... and for 4 hours a week of DJing DT... I can pay my rent... pretty fucking sweet huh?!!!! helll yea..... well, gotta get ready for work. By the way DAVID... you write entirely too much in your journal, and I don't write enough!! And where the hell is Ashley?????

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Tori's boys CD

Sometimes I feel like my life is a giant cesspool of ups and downs.. it seems since I moved into the warehouse I haven't stopped going... 2 bar jobs and 2 residencies are killing me!!! I want some fucking m"e" time. I can't rememeber when the last time I played records outside the club... and that sucks. I feel like I'm pulled in every direction, and I can't maintain all areas of my life as completely as I would like to. I can't fully commit to Pappasito's anymore,.. I find myself needing to take off for gigs more frequently, causing my bar manager, a usually cool guy, to become a total asshole!! It's even more difficult to take off from my Sat. job at Clark's for gigs. Both my bosses on Main expect a lot from me, and I definitely feel the pressure from them. But the one commitment I truly enjoy is my boyfriend.. and I feel like I never have enough free time to just chill like we used to. I'm begining to think I can't have it all, as though I have seemingly lost my drive. Perhaps I'm just tired. Gotta jet... time for night at the Roxbury!! hahaha

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: warehouse crackle

Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:46 pm New Icons via mamiyaman_16

mamiyaman_16 posting from wazkitten's journal. I finally made some icons for this girl this is one...I made one more from a turntable/mixer shot I did on Industry Tuesdays...I also made some account modifications to her journal that some of you may notice.

Current Music: Metallica - King Nothing

so I too have neglected 'ye old journal due to current computer difficulties. I think David may be more in love with my boyfriend than me..hehehe Just kiddin dipshit.... and speaking of, someone needs to get a life. I had lunch with David today and we came up with a few flyer/business card ideas.. lemme just say, I am SUPER stoked!! I haven't been sleeping at the warehouse all week, and I have must say, I miss the nameless bastad! Love is sooooo in the air. I had a record shopping spree with my boy for Valentine's Day, and it was better than sex. I have been making an assload of musical contacts lately, and all of Houston's big-wigs of the scene have been coming out to see what they call "competition"...yea that's me. I 'm a bit in disbelief, but am soon realizing some of my idols are being down grated to my peers,which rocks. I haven't had a day off my "jobs" in a few weeks, and the lack of sleep is kinda getting to me. I wake up when my BF goes to work about 7:30, and usually go to bed about 2am.. leaving a long day od bartending/DJing/promoting in between. Sleep is for the meak.. I plan on busting my ass this month and developing my name more.
I currently have 4 employers, and love than all, except for the Cantina, it's getting to me a bit.
O, yea.. I want a motorcycle BAD!!!! I am still undecided, but I'm thinking about it seriously, .. you would think a major accident would defer me, but it actually has made me value my time here more. here are so many things I want to seize. Well, gotta go to work.. Clark's/Dean's tonite... free show !!!
One last word of good news, I found an artist to paint the bay door... Ashley, remember the guy who does live paintings at Clarks? him... he's hooking it up yo!!! Good weekend to all!

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: David's metal rock-out song!

so I think I'm getting back to "myself" a bit more... I have been a freakin basketcase this last week, but after taking a few mental/physical health days from work, I feel more alive now than ever. I love bartending downtown, it's such a break from the eastside, and Pappasito's. My new obsession is bar flare and seeing how showy/fast I can be. I 4-bottled every long island on Sat., which impressed the owner.. he basically called me a man...compliment. I'm also trying to learn to juggle. Me and David just got back from eating and he showed me some stuff. 1st balls, then bottles...yea! It's pretty rainy tonite, so I'm a little worried about our Tuesday night turnout, but at least we'll have our regulars. New Flyer!!!! 2 big gig offers in one night....super excited, one at Gatsby...the other Dean's clothing... it is my reoccurring wet dream to be booked at least 5 days out of the week. I swear my happiness is correlated directly with my gigs. I think that's a problem.
The love scene is nice... I love to love... equality and respect ROCK!!!

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Tivo Trama

5:45 pm, I exit Hamilton remaining in the left lane until I approach Frankin. I am stopped at the red light for about a minute and proceed to take a left, under the freeway and past the green light, out of the corner of my right eye I see a car, and rest is slow motion. The loudness of the impact surpassed that of a 12 gage, and the force parralled me into the next series of lanes and up onto the curb... both air bags erupted and smoke filled the cabin. I felt held back the entire time, as though I was glued to my seat. I felt my grandmother was holding me, I errupted from the car and ran to the car on the feder,.. my car was totalled.. busted windshield that could be pushed out from the inside, one tired completely folded... my entire front end on Franklin and Charltres, When I got to their car their doors wouldn't open from the impact, and they were talking to someone in Spanish on the cell phone.. The wrap up.. no DL, no insurance, and a new respect for full coverage and greencards. Thank god I am ALIVE!!!! and thanks for awesome roomates to the rescue to calm, to comfort, and to collect.

Current Mood: ALIVE
Current Music: SMASHING Accords

my head is spinning with creative possibilities like the vinyl on my turntables... and I am in total lust.. I think we all can agree that sweet lovin the night before casts a spell on your day ajax can't wash off.... why am I so ruled by sex... I know how men must feel... ha! I worked 12 hours today....ewww I feel like a big cape cod gone wrong..... I am soooo off work tommorow.... Looking forward to QT with the pops, and a good time with my friends... Tuesday nights my alter-ego emerges, and I become a rockstar. I must say I have developed a bit of a chip, but tearing up the turntables puts all the boys in their place, and their respect fuels me.
By next Tuesday the new flyer/website goes in full effect, and then its gruesome promoting month, which rocks because I'm promoting myself, but is none the less bitch work...
New goal... at least 3 tracks a month.. original tracks get overseas gigs (ie wet dream)
Oh, yea ,,, we have this new Monday Manager at work, her name is Ashley... anyway I kept harrassing her today to do my stuff and in the middle of the shift, and she just went off.... mumbling under her breathe about mindless twits and some guy named Scott....I hope everything works out for her.
Enough work... for tomorrow we spin!!!

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Tori vs Timo